By: Jake Levy
Technology has a clear impact on daily life and it has caused a growing trend that affects the way we date.
Dan Largiader and his girlfriend, Alyssa Cook, met in high school. They were a year apart and had some classes together, but Largiader used AOL Instant Messenger to start courting his future partner.
"I was a little scared to bring conversation up with her so I took the cowardly way out and IMed her one day online," he says.
The online chatting eventually led to text messaging and then finally face-to-face dates. Largiader says he found it easier to talk to her online.
"You have time to think about what you're going to say," he says. "You don't freeze in front of them."
Largiader calls it the "cowardly way" but he is not alone. The online dating industry brought in $1.049 billion in 2011 and estimates a $1.65 billion intake in 2012.
Dr. Suzanne Peebles is a licensed marriage counselor who says there are numerous reasons people are turning to online dating. She says being shy and not having the time for conventional dating are two of the main reasons.
She also says it allows people to be seen for who they really are and past physical appearances.
"After lengthy communications where you have to write in sentence form and process it through your mind and actually tell about yourself you start to bare your heart and soul more," Peebles says.
"I dated a girl (from eHarmony) who had a defect to her upper lip. I liked the girl for who she was not because of some Hollywood concept of feminine perfection," writes one user on the eHarmony forums.
According to a study done by Chadwick Martin Bailey and Match.com:
- One in five relationships started in the last three years started online
- One in six new marriages originated through online dating
- There are 40 million online dating users in the United States
Couples can meet from anywhere, which explains the increase in long distance relationships.
Long-distance marriages increased by 23 percent between 2000 and 2005 according to census figures analyzed by the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships.
Largiader and Cook can relate. Their relationship has survived five years despite being 500 miles apart.
Largiader is a senior at the University of South Carolina and Cook is a junior at the University of Maryland.
"I'd definitely have to say without technology then we probably would not have made it through college," Largiader says.
They use Skype webcalling to see each other and they talk and text everyday to keep in touch and keep their relationship strong.
"I like talking to him and hearing his voice and knowing that he wants to talk to me," Cook says.
Peebles says, especially if one person is in the military, video chatting is a great way to keep a connection and show each other love.
"Their new hair cut. Is it a good one or a bad one? And you can show care by saying, ‘honey, he took too much off the sideburns,'" she says.
Largiader says it is Facebook, though, that gives him peace of mind.
"Facebook is a good way to make me able to check up on her and make sure her pictures are good and she's not with any other dudes or anything like that."
Peebles says Facebook can do much more for a relationship than check up on each other. It can also give them insight into how their partner is feeling.
"You can see if the person is happy in their environment or sad or lonely," she says. "Then you know how to communicate with them and say ‘hey were you upset? Were you lonely? I was with you and you didn't know it. I'm there all the time.'"
Online dating is most popular among people in their twenties. Peebles credits says once you graduate high school or college and enter the work force the world starts moving so fast that love can take a back seat.
She says the younger generation is more accepting of the trend because of the way they view relationships in general.
"In my day you took vows, you stayed married. In my parents' day no matter what you stayed married or you for sure went to hell. I think in young people now it's about the moment," she says.
For now Largiader and Cook are living in the moment. Largiader plans on graduating in May with an accounting degree and making it through his entire college career in a long distance relationship.
The two say they plan on taking the next step this summer when they will live together in Charlotte.
Technology not only helped their relationship begin, but also to make it last.
Technology is making finding love and keeping love more convenient than ever and it seems that's just what this busy world needs.
Largiader scanning his Facebook page
Largiader reading a hand made card from his girlfriend
